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| There are many things humankind are looking forward to throughout their life... When babies grew and became young children, they look forward to become older, once they got into school, they find their bags on their shoulders are so heavy When young boys/girls became older, they look forward to have relationship, once they started dating, they find another heavy burden is added onto their shoulders When young adults found the right ones, they look forward to get into marriage, once they started a family, they find their shoulders are a little bit more heavier When young couples thought that it's about time, they look forward to have babies, once they became parents, suddenly they find their shoulders are a lot more heavier When young parents found that they have to give their children the best, they look forward to give them a comfortable home, they find that another big and heavy stone is put on their shoulders ...... what's next? It's always good to be babies... so care free all the time O Lord, let us be your babies, that we are so care free in your arms. | | |
|  4.56am... can't sleep after waking up by Daniel's nightmare.
Decided to read through Xanga, recalling the precious moments of pregnancy to Daniel's birth. Daniel is nearly 2 years old, and he's sound asleep right beside me. Recalling the past 22 months, it's hard bringing up Daniel. Remembering when we first brought him home, it was a nightmare for me and Matt. We had to cook, did a lot more housework, fed him, bathed him, brought him back to the hospital for jaundice check up a number of times... it was very very hard, until Matt's parents came there was a brief relief. Then, it was only me and Matt taking of Daniel again, waking up early to feed, feeding and crying in the midnights, unsettled sleep...etc. Thank God we sustained through. We thought, things will get better as he grows older. Turning one, and he's going to child care... more and more sickness came to him... cold & flu, gastro, hand foot & mouth, even chicken pox... I'm exhausted taking care of a constantly sick baby + a clingy baby... plus having to take care of a sick ME too. Yet, I still love to be Daniel's mum, and still enjoy taking care of Daniel. It's hard and exhausted... but Daniel worths a million. | | |
| Can't imagine 2008 has gone!!! The most challenging but exciting year of my life, and at the same time, the hardest but sweetest one. 2008 is too good to let it go... Baby Daniel was born, bringing him up as a newborn (changing him, feeding him, bathing him...) Now he can crawl and stand up with support... Daniel is no longer a newborn but a 1 year old toddler. It's great to see him grow and learn to be independent. But it's also hard to learn that he's growing up and slowly getting independent of me. Yes, I miss the old days when Baby Daniel was first born. I miss the time in the hospital, expecting Baby Daniel. Though there were pains, and lots and lots of pain... it's the sweetest memory of my entire life so far. The hardest part now is to wean Daniel. Last time, breastfeeding him seemed a troubled job. It's not until having to wean him that I find that breastfeeding him is such an intimate that I'm reluctant to let go. 2008, a year of motherhood, it's hard, but I love it. And I'll always miss the time being the mother of newborn Daniel. Farewell 2008. Farewell early motherhood. Farewell baby Daniel. 
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| As soon as BB Daniel was born, he was put on me... the 1st thought that came over my mind was: What a long baby!! (and indeed he was, being 50 cm long for a premature BB) Somehow, there was a bit of resentment towards him as I thought he was causing me this much pain. However, that feeling quickly passed by and I started to touch him. When I looked at him, I thought he was a pretty ugly baby, with his dark/red skin covered with white dirts. After he was cleaned and I was all settled. He was taken to the nursery. Matt took me to see him in a wheelchair. Because I had an infection, he had to be put on antibiotic as well. Similar to me, he had needle on his hand for the drip. Poor little thing! I thought, he was so small and had to suffer pain. From then on, my heart melt... I knew I had fallen in love with this little thing. Apart from Matt, I knew he would be the one I love dearly. I went back to my ward, and Matt went home. I tried to sleep as it was very exhausted, but my heart was at the nursery with BB Daniel. I was wondering when he could come up to me. I woke up and couldn't wait to get to the nursery for my son. As I planned to move, I was so grateful that the baby doctor brought BB Daniel back to me in his little cot, right at my door. My heart was delighted to see him again. He slept with me by my side. The more I looked at him, the more I thought he was really really cute. My heart was totally fallen for him. BB Daniel was sound asleep for the whole day, and he was really quiet. In the evening, the midwife came to teach us to bathe him. To our dismay, the water was not hot enough and he was cold and turned a little blue for a couple of seconds. Sadly, he was taken back to the nursery again. We were worried, and we followed. But it's more comforting seeing him being taken care by the professionals. Unfortunately, because he was too sleepy to suck, we were recommended to put a tube through his nose to feed him. I agreed. But as I looked at how a tube was put into his nose, and how his hand was wrapped up because a needle was in it, tears began to fall. My heart was broken to see my little one suffer in pain. Yet, my BB Daniel was a strong boy. He's not crying much for the pain. Returning to my ward, I was sad not having my son with me for the 1st night. However, I was relieved to have the nurses caring for him, so that I got a good night sleep.  
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| It's been a long long time since last updating this blog... as BB Daniel was really unsettled... crying a lot and not sleeping. But thank God, he's now more settle... and hopefully will get better and better. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ To continue with my labour story... (in order I'll remember this experience in my entire life) Well... the story ended with my unbearable contraction, and I gave in with an pain relief injection... After the injection, I was really really sleepy. And thank God that I did. When the contraction was off, I was sound asleep, and when it's on, I woke up screaming... I remembered I yelled "I don't want to go on anymore!!!" No once cared about this statement, neither did Matthew... coz it's impossible. The process went on: Contraction pain... sound asleep... pain... sleep Until at a point I felt a strong urge to push. Though I was patially asleep, I was able to tell Matthew to inform the midwives that I felt the urge to push (I felt it's God who taught me to)... The midwives running in... excited... as they didn't expect that soon... The climax began... I began to push... it's really hard. It's like pushing a big poo out. But if you asked me if it's painful, I can't really remember it. I just kept pushing, until Matt told me BB Daniel's head was out. I kept pushing some more, until he's totally being brought into this world... it was a great great relief. BB Daniel was put on me... the 1st impression? What a long baby, a bit ugly too. The midwives were really happy with this 1 month early BB: 6 pounds, 50cm long. As he was premature, and I had infection, the pediatrician came and brought BB Daniel to ICU. I felt reluctant but no choice. After everything settled, I was taken to the baby ICU to see my son, and then back to my ward to sleep. 24 Dec 2007, will be more memorable and meaningful to me and Matt -- BB Daniel was born!!! When I recall the whole process of labour... I experienced God, I felt God was there for me... coz there're many things it's Him who taught me... Moreover, I only take 4 hours to labour, it's uncommon for most 1st time mother. Thank You GOD!!!  
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